More Frustration

Well, not much new with Dad. They STILL don't know what's wrong with him, and that is so extremely frustrating to me. And to everyone else. And I haven't really been able to talk to him, so that's frustrating. I just want him better. But I'm not sure if that will happen. And that scares me. Not having Dad in my life scares me. He's been such a big part, such an important part of my whole life. I couldn't ask for a better father. I just want him around - I'm not ready to say goodbye to him yet.

So outside of a reply from Football Boy, nothing. No phone call, no other e-mail. And that really hurts. I thought we were friends, but obviously I'm not important to him. When we were in Florida for Z's funeral, I told him one of my greatest fears - that I expect the next funeral to be my fathers. So he knows how I'm feeling about this. I won't say anything to him about this anymore - he has to make an effort - I can't always be the one who does this. He needs to sart thinking about someone other than himself.

Work is driving me crazy. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place for me. And I can't put my finger on why. Maybe if I had control over HR, it would be one thing. But I don't. It has to go through too many layers, and by that time, it's not worth it. I mean, why should the CEO want input into first level interviews??? That makes no sense at all. And if we're focusing on supervisor training, why should this be from the employee's perspective? That's not what our focus is on. Totally frustrating. I almost wish I was consulting again - but not on long-term assignments - I want to just do projects - that way there is a beginning and an end. I need to finish redoing my resume and start thinking about the next position.