I Hate Being Sick

Man, being sick sucks big time. I have no energy to do anything. I have to go to work tomorrow since I'm off the rest of the week. But I can barely stand up for a long amount of time to do that. So we'll see how it goes. I haven't felt like this in quite some time. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in and make me feel better. And get rid of this nasty headache.

Ugh!

No Solution

So the weekend came and went with no resolution. We went to happy hour on Friday, and it was pretty hard to sit there while he's tm'ing his wife. I can't get involved in that situation. I don't care what he says. He's still married and he loves her, and I'm not going to be in the middle of it. I think he's realizing that he can't do this as well. I got a few tm's on Friday night, but nothing else all weekend.

So MB#2 called me Saturday to see how I was, and it was hard to talk to him as well. I'm just not into him. It would be nice if I could be, but the chemistry just isn't there for us. At least I won't see him for 2 weeks since I won't be at bowling.

I need to meet a new man, preferable a single one.

I'm So Confused

I meet MB#3 this afternoon for a quick beer. We're just shooting the breeze and he wants to talk about the situation. But I don't want to right now. He gets a call from the wife and he has lied to her about what he's doing. I can't deal with that. I don't want this to happen. Not like this. Even though they're not always getting along, I don't want to be the other woman. He even now says that he shouldn't have told me. And he's right. No matter what our feeling are. This just can't happen. So as we leave, he wants me to come by his truck. He got me a dozen carnations and 6 red roses. OMG!! I can't believe this! I'm so confused on all of this. He wanted to give me a kiss, but I said no. We can't do this.

Meanwhile, I have MB#2 calling and TMing me, and I can't deal with him. I'm just not interested in him and I've told him this several times. He's not getting it.

Why can't I find a nice, SINGLE guy??

Sunday's List of Things to Do - Results

Get crap off of bedroom floor - DONE
Clean spare room and get ready for next weekend - DONE
Clean up makeup pile - DONE
Dishes - DONE
Clean kitchen table - DONE
Clean coffee table - 1/2 DONE
Clean behind couch - 1/2 DONE
Clean off scrapbooking tables - 1/2 DONE
Set up for GG/Croptoberfest - 1/2 DONE
Mail out catalogs - 1/2 DONE
Get 5 packages ready to mail - DONE
Laundry - DONE
Clean out car - DONE
Grocery shopping - DONE
Make list of food for Saturday - DONE
Post for sale items - DONE
List tickets on E-bay - DONE
Order pictures of 2 games
Organize rest of pictures
Persona order
Framing order
Send handbook template to work e-mail - DONE
Reach through assignment 2
Read through assignment 3
Read through assignment 4
Assignment 4 discussion questions
10 rows - DONE
Get caught up in album
Expenses for September
September write-up - DONE

Men! Part 2

Gosh, they drive me crazy!!!

I'm meeting MB#3 tomorrow for a quick beer - only because I'll be over by his office. We need to talk. Part of him is ready to leave his wife for me. And I don't want that. He still loves her, and he needs to work things out with her. He says he's been in love with me for 2 years now, but didn't want to say anything while we worked together. But now that we're not working together, well, it's a whole other story. And it really sucks because he's married. He's just someone that I click with and can talk to him about anything. And while it's nice to think about what might be, it's not going to happen. Not right now. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

MB#1 called me again tonight, to talk about Springsteen. But we talked for over an hour. I'm not sure where the wife was - probably asleep. Of the three, he's the one I miss the most. If our timing was different, we'd be together now. But I've never been known for my timing. We were trying to figure out when Bruce sang his favorite song (Candy's Room) - I thought we were at the show together when he played it back in 2003. But we weren't - I was in Atlanta and called him and played the song for him. Of course he laughs that I can pull out the set lists since they're all in my scrapbook, LOL! We'll have fun at the concert - we might do the limo thing - it would just be easier.

At least nothing from MB#2 this week. But that'll change tomorrow when I have to see him at bowling. He's so sure that the day his divorce is final, we'll be a couple. And that's not going to happen. I'm just not into him that way. And he doesn't get it. He has now decided that he wants to go to a Tech game with me. I told him that it's expensive to get tickets (notice I didn't offer him any of mine) and he would have to find his own place to stay. I would not have fun with him at a game. And I don't want him coming with me.

So where are the single men??

Sunday's List of Things to Do

I have so much to do today I need a separate list!

Get crap off of bedroom floor
Clean spare room and get ready for next weekend
Clean up makeup pile
Dishes
Clean kitchen table
Clean coffee table
Clean behind couch
Clean off scrapbooking tables
Set up for GG/Croptoberfest
Mail out catalogs
Get 5 packages ready to mail
Laundry
Clean out car
Grocery shopping
Make list of food for Saturday
Post for sale items
List tickets on E-bay
Order pictures of 2 games
Organize rest of pictures
Persona order
Framing order
Send handbook template to work e-mail
Reach through assignment 2
Read through assignment 3
Read through assignment 4
Assignment 4 discussion questions
10 rows
Get caught up in album
Expenses for September
September write-up

Men!

Man, things get so confusing. I'm still confused about MB#1's phone call. I don't know if the wife was around or not, or if he was lonely. I'm not sure why he called - he never really said.

Then, MB#2 - he really wants to date me, but I'm not that into him. We did go out last night to dinner and a movie. But nothing happened. I don't mind hanging out with him, but as of now, he's still married. His divorce is final in November. And I told him that he needs to be by himself for some time after his divorce. And that I didn't want to be his rebound person. And that we have to think about our friendship as well. So he seemed to be fine with that. I don't know - we'll see. He really wants something to happen with us and I'm not ready and I don't know if I'm interested.

Then, MB#3. this is the most confusing one. If he wasn't married, he would have asked me out, wined and dined me. And he wants to know what will happen with us. The sad thing is that I would go out with him if he wasn't married. But he is. He's just a lot of fun, and he's pretty sexy. But he's married! We're going to happy hour on Friday, with some former work folks. And I might see him Thursday after my dentist appointment. But he's married!!!

So why is it that I only seem to be interested in people who are taken? And then when they're not, I'm not interested? Or is it easier for me to be interested in them because I know it won't go anywhere and I then won't get hurt? That's something to think about.

This Scares Me

We received notice about the University of Minnesota's memorial service for dad, but we decided that it was too soon to deal with another memorial. The university invites us for 2 years, so we'll go next year. It's also a rough time for everyone to be heading to MN, so this works out for the best. My stepmom just didn't feel ready to do this. My oldest sister is still having to take care of her husband. They were in a really bad car accident the week before Christmas, and he has had problems with his back ever since. He just had surgery again, and is still recuperating, but he is still house-bound. So she couldn't make it there.

And my middle sister is having all sorts of issues with my niece B. Apparently my niece's boyfriend (M) has a bunch of psychological issues and they're getting out of hand. We didn't know that he was so mentally unstable. Last week he ended up in the emergency room, and then the hospital. Apparently he tried to cut himself, but the cut marks look like they were made by a claw. He said he didn't cut himself - the Devil did it. He is saying that he is part of a cult called The Order, and that the Devil was telling him to kill his mom and B and he was trying to get away from the Devil, but the Devil grabbed his wrist and that's where the mark came from. The police had to be called because the hospital considered this a threat to his mom and to B. They ended up admitting him to a psychiatric hospital, and we're finding out all sorts of things that's he's said and done. So my niece is having a very hard time dealing with this (her previous boyfriend had some psychological issues as well and was just admitted to the hospital the previous weekend), but she's also not fully understanding how serious this is. She thinks that they have some sort of connection and she is an empath for him and they can communicate telepathically. My sister has her talking to a counselor, but all of this has been very emotionally draining on the whole family. We're really worried about B now and what she might be thinking and feeling and we don't want to take any chances with her. My brother-in-law has tried to let her know that she needs to let this guy go. He's not coming back to school, at least not anytime soon, and they don't want her waiting around for him. They won't let her see him right now, and she can't talk to him. She was allowed to write to him, but his mom read the letter and that was a bit disturbing. I'd love to take her away from all of this for a few days, but with her school and her band competitions, I can't do that. I just wish I could do something for her. I did send her a bouquet of smily cookies, but that's not the same as being able to take care of her.

I'd hate to be in her shoes right now.

A Funky Mood

I'm in a funk right now and I'm not sure why. I'm not very motivated to do anything and that's not good. I need to clean my house, really clean it, and I come home and sit on my butt. I need to get some motivation, some energy. I don't know why I don't have any.

I think part of it is I'm now getting lonely. I miss having someone to talk to or do things with. There is MB#2, but I don't want to lead him on since I don't want to date him anymore. He's fun to hang out with, but I don't want anything more. And he knows that for now. But once his divorce is final, I think he'll try harder. And it'll be hard to let him down. But I've seen how he is with his ex, and I don't want to deal with that. But I do want to meet someone new; someone who doesn't have the drama in them. It would be nice to be in a drama-free relationship.

Plus, I'm still in love with Atlanta boy. I know I shouldn't be, and the relationship will never work. But I can't help it. Whenever I talk to him, everything just comes back. And I need to get over it. He's there and I'm here, and that'll never change. And you would think that after all this time, I'd be over it. He definitely knows the right buttons to push. He calls me for the most stupid reasons, but half the time he won't return my calls. It's his way of controling this relationship. Ugh!

And this stupid "fight" with the singles, well, it's just annoying. The funny thing is that I don't really miss Kim or Eric. It's comical that they go out of their way not to say anything to me. Kim sent a picture out to everyone but me - Jayne forwarded it to me and thought that Kim was being too petty about everything. But I'm fine with it. It's almost a relief not to be dealing with all of that hassle. But I do miss Bill. And it's stupid of him to not be talking to me. This conversation had nothing to do with him. But if he feels like he has to choose sides, well, I can't do anything about that. I don't plan on seeing him until the FSU game, since Eric won't hang around us for the Georgia Tech game, and I don't know if he's coming to the BC game. So in a way I'll be glad when football season is done with this year. Too much drama still going on.

And we did win the football game!! We came out fighting and we so did it!! Well, our defense and special teams did it. Our O line wasn't quite there yet. But they're getting there. Next week is Duke, then a week off. So hopefully that'll help get them back on track. #12 baby - gotta love it!

Another Football Weekend

So I'm down in Greenville for the football game. Hopefully we can do well. Clemson is favored by 5, which sucks for us. But we can beat them - we've done it before.

I drove down yesterday, but I got a late start, and didn't get out of DC until 2:30, which put me on 66 traffic. Then I hit some in Lynchburg and Roanoke, and again in Statesville. That was the worst - it ended up taking me an additional 2 hours to get to the hotel. So needless to say, I was exhausted after a 9 1/2 hour drive, working 6 hours, and doing 3.5 miles at the gym. Plus no real food. Ugh. I'm hoping to get in about 30 minutes of studying before packing up the car and heading out to meet some of the folks.

Kim and Eric are supposed to be at this game. For someone who didn't want to go to anymore games because of Eric, she sure has changed her tune. He is spending the weekend at her house, and she's been to 2 more games since she said that. Whatever. He refused to talk to me last week, and it was pretty funny, and childish.But part of me thinks they won't even come join us since it's a small group (only 5 of us without them). That would make things nice - then I wouldn't have to deal with either of them for a few weeks. I'd hate to think what they do when someone really sets them off. This was just a conversation!

My "little sister" and her fiance set their wedding date - the end of next June. They're doing it at Nagshead, so I'll be heading down there. I haven't been there since the summer of 1983 when I went with Buckeridge and his family (oh, what happy times!). So that'll be a lot of fun. But that gives me an incentive to keep losing weight and get down to my target so I can hit the beach and look decent!!

I signed up for a 12-week program at the gym. I made it through the first week, and by yesterday, I was pretty exhausted! But it's good. We have to write down all of our food, and it makes me realize that I really eat horribly! No fruits and barely any veggies. And not that much protein. So I really need to work on that. I am drinking more water, which helps. So we'll see how next week is.

Let's go Hokies!