I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday I needed to just veg out. I slept for 4 hours during the day, which is something that I don't do. And I got to sleep in a bit. So I had lots of sleep.
At the doctor's now, getting my chemo. My lab work was good. My white blood cells went back up to 11.3, which is above the normal, so the injection is definitely working. And my platelets went up to 292, which is also really good. They took some blood to test my markers to see how everything is working, so hopefully that'll be positive as well.
I got some great gifts in the mail - and I'm so far behind on thank you notes!! Very far behind. So here's a public thank you until I get then sent out! Thank you to all of my friends and family - for being there, for the phone calls and e-mails, for the goodies that you've sent, for all of the prayers. I couldn't have come this far without you. You all mean the world to me!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Ugh
Not feeling so great tonight. I've got a slight fever, plus a bit of a cold. Actually I think it's allergies. My head is pounding from the pressure. Hopefully it'll go away soon.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
More Visits
I had my appointment with the oncologist, and they are pleased with my progress so far. I'm halfway done with this round of chemo treatments, and things still look pretty good.
I had my labwork done, and my white blood cells decreased, but not as much as last time. They went down to a 4.0, which is low, but it's still within the patient limits, so that's good. My platelets decreased more than last time, down to a 233, but they're also still within the limits. It'll be interesting to see what they jump up to next week before chemo.
I'm still tired a lot, more so this week than the past 3 weeks. But I think I'm coming down with something, so I have to be very careful about that. Luckily it's a quiet weekend and I can get some rest.
And I've gone almost a week with the wig. I'm slowly getting used to it, but I do like coming home and taking it off. It's just more comfortable. Except that I'm losing patches of the hair that was left, so it's itchy all the time. But that'll stop soon, and then it can grow back.
I have an appointment with my surgeon on November 11, so I'll find out more about what the surgeries entail. That'll help me make my guess on what to do.
I had my labwork done, and my white blood cells decreased, but not as much as last time. They went down to a 4.0, which is low, but it's still within the patient limits, so that's good. My platelets decreased more than last time, down to a 233, but they're also still within the limits. It'll be interesting to see what they jump up to next week before chemo.
I'm still tired a lot, more so this week than the past 3 weeks. But I think I'm coming down with something, so I have to be very careful about that. Luckily it's a quiet weekend and I can get some rest.
And I've gone almost a week with the wig. I'm slowly getting used to it, but I do like coming home and taking it off. It's just more comfortable. Except that I'm losing patches of the hair that was left, so it's itchy all the time. But that'll stop soon, and then it can grow back.
I have an appointment with my surgeon on November 11, so I'll find out more about what the surgeries entail. That'll help me make my guess on what to do.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Chemo, #2
It's been a few days since my second chemo treatment. The only side effect - my hair. It started really falling out on Thursday, so I made an appointment to get my hair cut. While I knew it was going to come out, I guess in some ways I was hoping that I would be exempt from it. And it was difficult. My friend and hairdresser L was awesome - she shaved my hair and styled both of my wigs. And we joked that it would be the only time that I tell her to "cut it all off."
It's still hard getting used to no hair. I miss it. Yes, it's easier in the mornings now - I don't have to do anything to it, but I'd rather have to spend the time washing it and drying it than not having it. Not having my hair makes the cancer seem more real.
Some of the girls saw the wigs this weekend, and they thought they looked fairly real. So that was good. It'll take time to get used to it, but I can do it.
There is a movie on Lifetime tonight - "Living Proof" about the doctor who invented Herceptin. I'm watching it because I owe my life to this doctor - the Herceptin will help stop the cancer in me. And one day we won't have this type of cancer.
It's still hard getting used to no hair. I miss it. Yes, it's easier in the mornings now - I don't have to do anything to it, but I'd rather have to spend the time washing it and drying it than not having it. Not having my hair makes the cancer seem more real.
Some of the girls saw the wigs this weekend, and they thought they looked fairly real. So that was good. It'll take time to get used to it, but I can do it.
There is a movie on Lifetime tonight - "Living Proof" about the doctor who invented Herceptin. I'm watching it because I owe my life to this doctor - the Herceptin will help stop the cancer in me. And one day we won't have this type of cancer.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The Hair Cut
Yesterday was the big day – my hair started falling out and it was time to get it all cut off. This was so hard to do. I knew I had to do it. But watching all that hair float down was very sad. Liz saved me some of it – I’ll put it in my scrapbook. It’s just another reminder that this is all real. First my hair, then my breasts.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Visit
On the positive side - my blood is looking good. Really good. My white blood cells went from a 3.6 on up to a 11.7. That just made me so happy to see that. I know next week they'll be lower again, but I know that the injection works. My red blood cells went from a 3.78 to a 3.82. That's still below the patient limits, and I'm a slight anemic, but that's normal with what is going on. My hemoglobin went from 11.9 to 11.7 but I'm still within the limits. No worries there. And my platelets went from 252 to 295, so they're still increasing. Overall, a great report. I still really don't have any side effects, so that's good. People tell me that they don't believe I "am sick because I look so good" so that's positive. Overall my oncologist is very pleased with my treatment.
On the so-so side - I think my hair is starting to slowly fall out. I'm noticing a bit more come out when I wash it and comb it. I picked up my second wig today, so as soon as it starts getting more noticeable, I'll do the deed. And I'll (maybe) post pictures of me bald, but definitely with the wigs - they're two very different ones!
On the have-to-do-some-thinking side - I did get tested for the breast cancer gene. And got the results. They are positive for the BRCA2 gene, which means that I carry it. What does that mean? I have an 84% risk of breast cancer (yeah, got that one) and a 27% risk of ovarian cancer. I also have a a 12% risk of a second breast cancer within five years. So I have some things to think about. My oncologist recommends a double mastectomy, and I'm seriously considering that. He also wants me to consider having my ovarys removed at some point. They're going to be shot anyway with the chemo. So I'm going to schedule an appointment with my surgeon to talk about doing the surgery and seeing what that entails. If I do this, then I need to figure when I can do it - it it's something that can be done right after the chemo, then I won't need radiation - why radiate something that won't be there! So that's another option. At least I can pick what I want my breasts to look like!
On the so-so side - I think my hair is starting to slowly fall out. I'm noticing a bit more come out when I wash it and comb it. I picked up my second wig today, so as soon as it starts getting more noticeable, I'll do the deed. And I'll (maybe) post pictures of me bald, but definitely with the wigs - they're two very different ones!
On the have-to-do-some-thinking side - I did get tested for the breast cancer gene. And got the results. They are positive for the BRCA2 gene, which means that I carry it. What does that mean? I have an 84% risk of breast cancer (yeah, got that one) and a 27% risk of ovarian cancer. I also have a a 12% risk of a second breast cancer within five years. So I have some things to think about. My oncologist recommends a double mastectomy, and I'm seriously considering that. He also wants me to consider having my ovarys removed at some point. They're going to be shot anyway with the chemo. So I'm going to schedule an appointment with my surgeon to talk about doing the surgery and seeing what that entails. If I do this, then I need to figure when I can do it - it it's something that can be done right after the chemo, then I won't need radiation - why radiate something that won't be there! So that's another option. At least I can pick what I want my breasts to look like!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Big Read
Thanks to C's blog for this.
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.
The Rules:
1) Look at the list and put one * by those you have read.
2) Put a % by those you intend to read.
3) Put two ** by the books you LOVE.
4) Put # by the books you HATE.
5) Post.
#1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
*2 The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
#3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë
**4 Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
#7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë
*8 1984 - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
*10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
*11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
*14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier
#16 The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
**21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
*22 The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
%24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adam
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
*28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
*29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
*30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
%31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
*32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
%33 Chronicles of Narnia- C.S. Lewis
#34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
*36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis de Bernières
#39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
*40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
*41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
*42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
*46 Anne of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
*49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
%50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
#54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
*57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
*58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
*61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
*64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
%65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
%66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
*68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
%70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
%71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
*73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Émile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - A.S. Byatt
**81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
**87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
*88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
*92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - read in both English and French
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
%97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
*98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
*899 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
I also have a lot of reading to do!
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.
The Rules:
1) Look at the list and put one * by those you have read.
2) Put a % by those you intend to read.
3) Put two ** by the books you LOVE.
4) Put # by the books you HATE.
5) Post.
#1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
*2 The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
#3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë
**4 Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
#7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë
*8 1984 - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
*10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
*11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
*14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier
#16 The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
**21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
*22 The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
%24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adam
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
*28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
*29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
*30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
%31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
*32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
%33 Chronicles of Narnia- C.S. Lewis
#34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
*36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis de Bernières
#39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
*40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
*41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
*42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
*46 Anne of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
*49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
%50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
#54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
*57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
*58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
*61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
*64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
%65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
%66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
*68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
%70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
%71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
*73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Émile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - A.S. Byatt
**81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
**87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
*88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
*92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - read in both English and French
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
%97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
*98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
*899 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
I also have a lot of reading to do!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
More Updates
I haven’t written in almost a month, so it’s time for some updates.
Cancer - September 15 was the next surgery date. That was when they were going to put the medi-port in. But they couldn’t get that in. It was getting kinked up in my veins. So it meant another procedure, this time by the radiologist. That was scheduled for September 29. And it was done, painfully, as I wasn’t put to sleep with that one. Instead, I was given a lot of drugs that helped. And it was a bit painful. But it needed to be done since I was starting chemo on Thursday. L was with me for both of these. The chemo wasn’t near as bad as I thought. I was hooked up to 3 different anti-nausea medicines, and 2 types of drugs, that lasted for about 3 hours. And it knocked me out. I was so exhausted afterwards. I have a bunch of drugs that I need to take now for it, and so far they are helping me. The only side effect I’m really having is the exhaustion. Total exhaustion. All I want to do is sleep. So we’ll see how tomorrow will be.
Football – Well, we went to Nebraska two weeks ago. But before I left, I got two e-mails – one from Football Boy and one from K. Both of them expressing their who-knows-what about me. And honestly, both of them pissed me off. They haven’t spoken to me in a year – why should I care what they say/think now? And why would they think I would just forget their treatment of me for the past year? I’m not sure what I should do about them right now, but I can’t deal with it at the moment. I do miss hanging out with Football Boy, though. But I don’t think things will ever be the same again.
Life – Now I need to get my life back. I have to find a way to get past this exhaustion and get things done again. I need to get back into working out, and eating better, and taking care of my things. So hopefully I can start getting back on track.
Cancer - September 15 was the next surgery date. That was when they were going to put the medi-port in. But they couldn’t get that in. It was getting kinked up in my veins. So it meant another procedure, this time by the radiologist. That was scheduled for September 29. And it was done, painfully, as I wasn’t put to sleep with that one. Instead, I was given a lot of drugs that helped. And it was a bit painful. But it needed to be done since I was starting chemo on Thursday. L was with me for both of these. The chemo wasn’t near as bad as I thought. I was hooked up to 3 different anti-nausea medicines, and 2 types of drugs, that lasted for about 3 hours. And it knocked me out. I was so exhausted afterwards. I have a bunch of drugs that I need to take now for it, and so far they are helping me. The only side effect I’m really having is the exhaustion. Total exhaustion. All I want to do is sleep. So we’ll see how tomorrow will be.
Football – Well, we went to Nebraska two weeks ago. But before I left, I got two e-mails – one from Football Boy and one from K. Both of them expressing their who-knows-what about me. And honestly, both of them pissed me off. They haven’t spoken to me in a year – why should I care what they say/think now? And why would they think I would just forget their treatment of me for the past year? I’m not sure what I should do about them right now, but I can’t deal with it at the moment. I do miss hanging out with Football Boy, though. But I don’t think things will ever be the same again.
Life – Now I need to get my life back. I have to find a way to get past this exhaustion and get things done again. I need to get back into working out, and eating better, and taking care of my things. So hopefully I can start getting back on track.
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