Latest Update

Here's my latest update. I went to see my surgeon today, and yippee, he took out the drains! I really didn't think he would do so since they were draining more than they had been over the past few days. But they really weren't draining too much, and I never got the amounts that they thought I might get. So that was great news. And I can finally take a shower again without worrying about pulling them out or getting them infected. We went over the pathology results, and they got all of the cancer from my breast, so I won't lose it. Another plus! They took out 7 lymph nodes, and 2 of them were cancerous. So that makes 1/3 of my lymph nodes that have cancer in them (they took 2 out with the first surgery, and one was cancerous). So my oncologist will get those reports and will decide on the type of chemo treatments I'll need.

We talked about the fact that I am HER+, which means that there is a greater chance that the cancer can come back. But, and this is important, there is a treatment that I will do that will make the chances of the cancer coming back less. So he said not to worry about that. Since I'll be on that treatment for a year, there is a greater chance that the cancer won'tt come back.

I have an outpatient surgery scheduled for Monday, where my surgeon will put in the port, getting me ready for cancer. Then on next Friday I get the MRI done (I'm not worried about that). I then meet with my oncologist on the 25th to determine my chemo treatment.

So within the next few weeks I have to go shopping for a wig. And I'll probably try and find some scarves that I can wear as well. I need to check into a support group and start going to that as well. So I'm trying to stay as positive as I can because I know I can beat this stupid thing that is totally interfering with my football schedule (which I hate). But there is always next year. I am still trying to deal with losing all of my hair (not just on my head, but also my eyebrows and eyelashes), and that will be difficult. At least I can pencil in eyebrows! And I'm organizing the Lee Denim day at work, and my company will match what we raise! I'm also going to crochet some caps for kids with cancer - they need them more than I do.

I'm glad that I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully it won't be as hard of a trek there.

Remembrance

Today is the 7th anniversary of 9/11. That horrible day when stupid terrorists attacked this wonderful country we call America. The day that the twin towers collapsed and many people were killed. They day that they tried to fly the plane into the Pentagon with the hopes that it, too, would collapse. Little did they know that they flew it into the wrong part of the building, and it didn’t collapse. And the day that strangers came together to prevent another attack. Instead, they were killed in Pennsylvania.

That is the day that Americans bound together as one. I wish we would still do that. We need to unite as one.

Many thoughts and prayers go out to those who sacrificed themselves for our freedom.

God Bless America.

Updates

Surgery – it went well, I think. I’ll know more tomorrow when I get the results back. I am praying that he got it all. I don’t want to go through this again. I’ve got 2 drains attached to me, which is not the most pleasant thing. I’m still sore in my arm and breast. I can only sleep on my back or somewhat on my right side, so that is uncomfortable. And I can’t shower, so I’ve been taking baths and washing my hair in the bathtub. It will be so nice to take a normal shower! I met with my oncologist and we still don’t know the chemo schedule – it’ll depend on what the results show. But we’re looking at 4-6 months of treatment. And I’ll lose my hair, which I’m trying hard not to get depressed about. Then, I’ll do 6 weeks of daily radiation. I tested positive on my FISH test. The FISH test stands for Fluorescence in Situ Hybridization. This shows if there are too many copies of the HER2 gene in the cancels. Because mine was positive, it means I have extra copies of the gene. Because of this, there is a greater chance that the cancer can come back. Because of this, I’ll have to have a treatment of Herceptin after the chemo and radiation are done. This will help stop the cancer from reoccurring – there is a 51% chance that this can happen. I’ll have a year-long treatment of this, but at least it’ll be every 3 weeks.

I don’t know when I’ll be getting the port in. I’m waiting on a call back from the oncologist’s office on that. I thought it would have been put in with this surgery, but it didn’t happen.

Work – I’m behind. I haven’t done much of anything. I need to buckle down and get these things in place. I have to finish the COBRA notices and then work on the tuition reimbursement policy. I’m worried that some of the e-mails I’ve sent haven’t gotten to where they should go. I sent one to two people at work and my Anthem rep and nothing from them.

Football – I don’t think I can go to the game on Saturday. I honestly think it’ll be too much. I hate missing a game. And having to miss 3 in a row kills me. But I just don’t think I can do it. I’ll ask the doctor tomorrow what he thinks. I just think it’ll be too much to drive down there, then spend all day out for the game, and drive back. But it sucks not to see FandJ, and Atlanta Boy. I get the impression that D really doesn’t want me to come down there, so that bothers me as well. I don’t know if it’s a carryover from the crap last year or what.

Friends – I’ve heard from most of them. Except B. Nothing from her. I know her mom is going through things, but I thought I was supposed to be a good friend. I haven’t heard from her in a week. And I even told her my surgery was last week. Still nothing. I’m at the point where I don’t even want to invite her to things anymore. I’m still waiting for her to tell me she went with BandM to the Buffett concert. You know – the one that she wasn’t going to because it was her anniversary. But she went anyway. After she told me she couldn’t go. I hate when she does that. And it happens more often than naught.

Catching Up

So today I took MB to lunch for his birthday (last Saturday). We’ve been doing this for several years now. We went to PotBelly. I felt bad for him – his aunt passed away on his birthday – not a good way to spend a birthday. So we talked a lot of that. Then he felt bad for bringing all of this up with what I have going on. He really is sweet that way. And he told me I looked good – that was the nicest thing he could have said, knowing what I’m thinking about all of this right now.

L and G come tomorrow to be with me during the surgery. That’ll be both good and potentially hard to deal with. But I’ll get over it. It will be good to have the help and support. Tomorrow I meet with my oncologist, and I hope that we can get some schedules in place.

I saw Atlanta Boy this weekend. He’s doing good. Ellen asked me if I regretted us not being together. And I wasn’t sure what I could answer. I miss him in some ways, but not in others. I’m jealous of his girlfriend, but I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want him to have someone or if it’s because I don’t have someone. I do want him to be happy. I guess I’m more worried that if this relationship he’s in becomes more serious that he’ll drop me. And I don’t want that. Heck, I’ve known the guy for 23 years – I don’t want to lose that.

I also saw the other guys this weekend. E and K actually talked to me when I spoke to them first. But nothing from B. Totally juvenile. And stupid.

What can I say about Hokie Football? We sucked. ‘Nuff said.

Still nothing from FM. And trying not to get depressed over it.