So it's been 3 months since my father passed away, and I still miss him like crazy. There are so many times I want to talk to him, and I can't. He's not there. I'm angry with him because he's not here. And I know that is a normal part of grieving, but it bothers me that I'm mad at him. He should be able to rest in peace and I'm just being selfish. But this is a time to be selfish. He was too young to go. Father's day is coming up. That's going to be hard. He was so good to me - he never judged me and always supported me. And next month is his birthday. He would have been 87. And I wish we could celebrate it with him.
I'm heading home in August - that will be hard as well. I love my stepmom and we're closer than we ever had been, but dad won't be there. I hate seeing his chair empty, or him not being at his desk. I know in time it will get easier. I just don't know when that will be.
I feel like I'm floundering right now. I'm not sure what I want to do anymore. My current job doesn't make me happy. And I don't know if I should find a way to make it better or not. Do I move back home? Or stay here? I just don't know anymore.
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