Merry Christmas

December 25 - and Christmas is only a few hours from being over. It's almost a letdown. Maybe that's why I look forward to the bowl game - it gives me something else to focus on.

I had a good Christmas. I got some money, a gift card from Home Depot (for my shed), some accessories for my bathroom, some jewelry and make up. A calendar of my kids. That's my favorite gift!!

There are a few days before the new year. I need to really think about what I want to change in my life. Because things do need to change, and for the better. I'll need to write out my resolutions and make it a point to stick to them. That's very important. Especially about getting to the gym. That has to be top on my list.

Merry (almost) Christmas Eve

It's hard to believe that it's almost Christmas. This year flew by, but I'm glad. It wasn't really a good one. And I need to change that for next year. I haven't even gotten into the Christmas season, which is pretty unusual for me. I felt like I didn't have time to get there. We were so busy at work, and it doesn't seem like it'll slow down. So that's been difficult. I've learned something about some of my friends - they're not really friends, or they don't have the guts to be friends, or at least honest. But I have met some really good friends, which I'm grateful for. And there are some friends whom I'm glad to call friends. I haven't done things that I wanted to this year, which I need to change for next year. But that'll be another post.

Christmas this year is spent at Laura's house. She's been as hectic as I have been, so not much has been done. They did put up some lights and the tree, but they didn't decorate the house like they've done in the past. I need to do that for next year. I haven't decorated in ages and ages. And that has to change. I used to love to do that. And I don't need to have people over to make my house nice. I should do it just for me. I hate the way it looks now - such a pigsty. That will be changed next year.

But this is a time for blessings. Dad is doing better. Bonnie is a godsend for everything she does for Dad. Gerri and Hal are recovering from their car accident. Everyone else is healthy. That's what is important.

Frustration

Frustration. That's what today was all about. Frustrated because there is so much work to do. Frustrated because things don't work like they should. Frustrated because I'm told to schedule meetings right away, then they get postponed. Ugh. So I'm trying to keep my head up and keep getting things done without getting overwhelmed. But I'm pretty much there right now. Something has to give, and soon. Many people aren't happy right now - most of us have too much on our plates, and we're not seeing an end in sight. I don't even know what to do anymore to change that.

Friendship

I have a friend from high school whom I've recently been in touch with. We e-mail almost daily and have gotten to know each other all over again. He's a very bitter person and he doesn't see it. He tends to think that everyone needs to be just like him and if you're not, then there is something wrong with you. He doesn't want to hear anything that might contradict with what he believes in. And it's very frustrating. He's single and he can't figure out why. He's been seeing this one woman, and she's gotten a little on the heavier side since they started dating. Part of it is because she is now working 2 jobs. He doesn't understand that some people have to do that and can't spend all of their time at the gym. He thinks that she wants to now be heavy. He refuses to accept that not everyone is so consumed with weight. He thinks he's heavy, and he's not - he's still in good shape.

It just gets frustrating that he thinks everything should be black and white. It's not that way. He used to be interested in me, but he's basically said that he wouldn't be interested anymore since I'm not skinny like I was in high school. Hello, that was over 20 years ago. And the more we talk, the more I don't even want him to be interested. And that's sad because we do have some fun conversations.

First Attempts

So here's my attempt at blogging. I'm not sure what I'm going to write, but I figure this will be easier to keep up than a paper journal. Plus I tend to type faster than I write. I can use this to just write whatever I'm thinking at the moment. And right now it's about friendship. Sometimes I question my friendships with some people. I feel like I go out of my way for some of my friends and they take advantage of that. And I'm sure that's not really the case, but I feel like it is. I am the type that will go far for someone - I guess sometimes I wish they would do the same back. I try not to judge people but sometimes that happens. One thing about me - if I'm your friend, I'll be your friend until you do something that is hurtful to me (or to my friends). And I try not to have issues with friends just because someone else has an issue. I won't take sides - I don't believe in doing that.

So I've got a group of friends that I do football with. And lately they annoy me. Granted, I'm the last in the group with them, and I don't always feel like I fit in. And I keep trying. What's funny is that the one that they seem to pick on the most - Car Driver - is the one that seems to get along the best with me. He's the only one that doesn't judge me. Hokie Man does - he hates that I'm friends with SC Girl, that we went on vacation together earlier this year. I'm not sure what Football Boy hates about me, but our relationship is so strained at times. We went from talking every day to talking maybe once a month, if that. And I hate that! But now he's so tied up in this one girl who is so completely wrong for him that I've lost respect for him. He's into her because he thinks she is what he wants or needs. But she's not - she just wants to be married. And he'll end up marrying her because that'll get him back to New Jersey. Even though he was unhappy there when he lived there. So I have to learn to deal with the fact that he will be the kind of person who will put a girl ahead of everything else.

Then there are the exes. I am still friends with many of them, and most of my other friends can't understand that. I don't know why. We're not together because of different circumstances, but apparently that's not a popular thing. And it shouldn't bother me, but sometimes it does.

I guess I just need to realize that my friends are who they are and I have to accept them, warts and all.